The Serious Post
Every so often there has to be one.I wanted to let all 4 of you that read this know (I am in the process of telling everyone else) that I have stopped drinking. (wow, that makes me sound like a recovering alcoholic) I am not saying that I am giving up alcohol for good, but for now and probably awhile I will not be drinking. And if you invite me to say drinking games, a bar, a social mixer, after work cocktails or even a "hey, a couple of us are hanging out having a beer, you should come over" I will not be attending. It's not that I don't love you or that I feel all high and mighty because I am not drinking. It's nothing like that. This is how it was explained to me by the professionals after two incidents where people I knew were having A beer and it resulted in me freaking out, driving home and calling my mom sobbing. "alcohol has become a trigger for you. Your father and brother both have had alcohol related problems (DUI, caught drunk in school, ect) those issues and just the amount they drink have caused problems in your home life (near constant fighting between my dad and brother, my dad moved out when my mom told him that they could only work things out if my dad got help with his own drinking problem ect). Not to mention you and your dad has several friends who have their own alcohol related problems. Instead of being a social norm like it used to, alcohol now brings up all of these negative aspects."
The good news is all of this should eventually work out. In the meantime I have a few requests for you and things I would like you to know. Even though I will proabaly not attend, I don't freak out just hearing there will be alcohol involved, I have worked on that. Please don't do the emotional check up if we are somewhere that people are drinking. I know you mean well and I love you for caring, but that is usually the point where I am no longer able to keep it together. If I want to talk about it or have hit a point that I need to talk about it, I will. If I decide to seclude myself from everyone for awhile, don't feel you need to keep me company. I have no issue being by myself, afterall I do live alone. I have no issue talking about past drunken moments, chances are we have swapped stories in the past few weeks even though I have had no desire to drink in months.
All this being said I need to go buy a giant bottle of french lemonade so i can pop a cork at midnight too. I thank you all for your support and understanding.
posted by lulu @ 12:52 PM
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